You Might Know Your IQ or EQ, but Do You Know Your RQ and How to Develop it? (By Elaine Rémy)

“When life squeezes you and the pressure is on, what you’re like on the inside will come out.” – Obi Abuchi Have you ever wondered why…when life squeezes some leaders it breaks them…and when it squeezes others…they bounce back and become even stronger? Well, it has very little to do with their IQ and everything to do with their RQ. And, by that, I mean their resilience. So, what is resilience and why is it more important than ever that today’s leaders ARE resilient? Well, resilience is the process of managing and adapting positively to significant sources of stress. It’s bouncing back from adversity and growing as a person, EVEN after difficult or traumatic experiences. It’s an essential skill to have today because it’s been scientifically proven that resilience…is the antidote…to stress. On statista.com, you can read about a survey carried out in the UK in 2020 regarding the most common type of stress experienced by Brits. It turns out that work stress is top of the list, with 79 percent of respondents saying they frequently feel this type of stress. Incidentally, 60 percent of respondents said they frequently feel monetary stress, and 48 percent experienced family stress. So, as you can see, stress is mainly work-related and it’s well-known that this is a global phenomenon. Like leadership, resilience is made up of many different aspects, many different elements and here, I’d like to introduce you to the Resilience Quotient Inventory or RQi, which is a comprehensive tool made up of 6 key elements (and 26 sub-elements):
  1. Purpose and Fulfilment
  2. Positive Mindset
  3. Supportive Relationships
  4. Managing Problems
  5. Managing Emotions
  6. Managing Physiology
One thing I must mention, is that the RQi is not like an IQ or a personality assessment such as the MBTI or DISC psychometrics. IQ and personality change very little from a certain age whereas the RQi measures beliefs, attitudes, behaviours AND environment, which, thankfully, are malleable and can change quite significantly over time. So, the RQi enables you to do three things: Firstly, it helps you to gain clarity on where your resilience muscles are the strongest…and where they could be strengthened. Secondly, thanks to the process, you’re able to receive invaluable feedback and guidance on your results.  And finally, the RQi allows you to make a step-by-step plan which acts as a roadmap to help you reach your resilience goals. So, what can YOU expect from this process? Well, here’s an extract of a testimonial from a business owner I worked with that will give you a little bit of an idea of how YOU can benefit from the process too.  She wrote:

I recently had a resilience assessment with Elaine, which I found to be very enlightening. The assessment gave me an invaluable opportunity to explore and recognise how I deal with and overcome stressful situations both within work and life. As well as offering me a very in-depth assessment of my own resilience and the tools I currently use to overcome stress, it also opened my eyes to ways I can deal with situations more effectively…having this insight will be extremely beneficial to my own learning and development.

Now, when I look back on my life and think about some of the really stressful situations that squeezed me – be that the chronic health condition I suffered from, starting and running businesses, financial difficulties and divorce, I can see that having many of those 26 sub-elements in place has helped me to build my resilience muscles and become not just a survivor but a thriver who is now in a position to support others, like yourself, on their journey of becoming a resilient leader. So, whether you’re an emerging or seasoned leader, a senior leader in an international organisation or a CEO of a company, the Resilience Quotient Inventory is for YOU.  Want to take this further? Get in touch and find out more about how the RQi can help you become a part of a growing movement of resilient leaders who are committed to improving organisations, transforming lives, and making our world a better place.

As a Leader, How Alive Are You?

In my latest book, Leading from Your Core, I recount a story shared with me by a senior leader (referred to as Leader X) in a global business about the sobering impact of burnout on leaders.

Here’s the story…

“The situation began as a breakdown in negotiations with a supplier. The negotiation process stalled on a Thursday, and on Friday there was a meeting with the supplier’s executive team to try and resolve the issues. Later that evening, one of the key leaders involved, a member of Leader X’s team, committed suicide by jumping out of a window. Everyone was shocked. Some felt the business had pushed him to this dark outcome. A few weeks later, more of the story came out. He was having problems at home and was no longer living with his family. He was also having problems at work. He was under a lot of pressure and was struggling to fulfil his responsibilities. Very sadly, it seemed that several factors added to his burnout and overall despair.”

What’s even more sobering to me is that there are more stories like this all over the world. Thankfully, though, not every leader opts for such extreme measures. That said, many leaders don’t have healthy release values to address the pressures they face. Many leaders don’t know how to surface and address the inner conflicts they are experiencing before they reach burnout. They turn to alcohol, drugs, workaholism and other temporary fixes to address the stress and anxiety they feel.

The result is poor marriages, dysfunctional family relations, emotionally neglected children, high levels of personal stress, poor mental health, dysfunctional work relationships, disengaged employees, depression, and the list goes on.

In The Burnout Society, the Korean-born German philosopher Byung-Chul Han ends with a haunting observation of most people in the Western world: “They are too alive to die, and too dead to live.”

“They are too alive to die, and too dead to live.” – Byung-Chul Hal

And, it’s for this reason, that I believe more leaders need to get in touch with what is happening on the inside before they reach a point of no return.

Let me ask you a question: How alive are you?

You might be tempted to respond by saying, “Well, I’m crazy busy that’s for sure.” Or “I’m not as fit as I need to be, but there’s still blood pumping through these veins.” [Ok. Maybe that’s a cheesy response, but you get the picture.]

I’m not talking about being alive in a purely biological or physiological sense. I mean at the level of your heart and soul, and that’s because addressing burnout and everything that leads up to it begins by reconnecting with your heart.

Shortly after we got married in 2002, my wife, Peju, gave me a copy of John Eldredge’s book, Wild at Heart. That book spoke to me at the level of my heart and not just my mind. Quoting the late philosopher and theologian, Howard Thurman, John Eldredge wrote this: “Don’t ask yourself what the world needs. Ask yourself what makes you come alive and then go do that. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.”

“Don’t ask yourself what the world needs. Ask yourself what makes you come alive and then go do that. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.” – Howard Thurman

I’ve come to believe that deeply.

From a leadership perspective, what our world needs, what our organisations need, what our countries need is leaders who are truly alive. Leaders who know what they stand for. Leaders who have overcome imposter syndrome. Leaders with a clear and compelling leadership philosophy. Leaders who are committed to service over self-interest. Leaders who are willing and committed to doing the hard work of leading from the inside out.

It’s that level of personal mastery as a leader that leads to transformed lives and a better world.

So, I leave you with this question: As a leader, how alive are you?